Wednesday, May 21, 2008

No straw, damnus

I think i have finally got the hang of this world. So i propound a theory which actually fits in with the various ongoing lame attempts that try to explain everything that happens. Well, in order to justify such a claim, i must substantiate it with some solid proof.
Ill begin by predicting the future.
For example, heres tomorrow's news:

1.) Financial calamity may trigger mass panic
2.) X company buys Y company
3.) Idiots kill innocent victims
4.) rich spoilt pop star does something interesting
5.) Politician does something illegal
6.) Research proves that this discovery may affect the way we live
7.) Govt screws up some goal
8.) Someone wont play some sport for some time because of injury

In fact, its the day after tomorrow's news also , and even the day after the day after tomorrow, and the day after that, n so on.

If thats not enough, ill predict some future scientific discoveries, which will be made based on groundbreaking research.
1.) If a black cat crosses ur path in the morning , it may not mean bad luck for the day.
2.) The probability of taking bath twice a day is increased by being shat upon by a flying bird.
3.) Jogging during an earthquake increases the risk of a panic attack.
4.) Cockroaches may rule the earth one day if treated well.
5.) In 50,000 years, there may not be enough straw on earth to feed our cattle.


Nostradamus would have been put to shame.
So now that it is clear that i possess, at the risk of sounding braggy, a phenomenal gift that has eluded scores of geniuses , here goes my propounded theory.
warning : this is not an original one. Many variations of this have been prevalent in the past, lets call it coincidence, a supreme piece of good fortune for some madmen, who have the good fortune of concurring with me

We are all pawns in a game. An alien kid has got this universe ball that he can control. All the tiny random events that occur are us. He can, however, assume control of anyone of us, and direct them to follow strange commands. As this transmission is in a format as yet undiscovered by us, we think it is our subconcious that decides what we do. Most of it is artificial intelligence, but sometimes , some wierd deviant behaviour is the fault of that stupid kid who cant yet get this game figured out.
Once he does figure out however, he'll know what a waste of alien money and time it is, and he'll flush it down the toilet. Welcome, big bang/crunch.

This certainly does explain my sudden yet inexplicable enlightenment. After all, we are all AI. All that was needed was by some quirk of fate a change in my wiring to make me receptive to the transmission mechanism, which of course was performed unwittingly by that stupid alien kid.

So what exactly is my point here ?

why, nothing of course.

7 comments:

Vidya said...

hey nice! u shud read 1984(if u havent already) :P dunno y i got reminded of that book when i was readin this post.. anyway nice that u blogged :P

rip van winkle said...

somethinhg, someone, may, etc etc not allowed in those predictions, so predict again! A maybe but we are still I! go on, replace all the some's there now before alien kid pushes another wrong button!

kniOledge ( Oink ) said...

@ vid, havnt read it actually, sounds interesting
@ ripvan hey, im trying to collectively predict the week's or months future , how much more do you expect ! :P

Vidya said...

ayyo is it some trend to add gre sites to ur blog? :-O

Full Of Life said...

You definitely can give Douglas Adams (Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy) a run for his money. Feels the just the same..awesome gibberish. Seriously, read this and you'll be rofling around for days (if you havent already). Its on the very same lines except they have an amazing mice theory behind it..
PS: Its more fun than 1984. 1984 is kinda glum. didnt enjoy it THAT much!

Vidya said...

blog oink blog!

Neeraj said...

or the alien might figure out a way to play his game to perfection and all will be hunky dory again.
optimistic, i know.